Children Militants at Toys R Us

Inspired by the Oregon Protestors a Militant Group of Children Has Taken Over a Toys R Us

Children MilitantsCalling themselves the Naps Are For Babies (NAFB), a group comprised of eight small children ranging in age from 5 to 9 years old stormed into the Toys R Us at La Cienega Plaza yesterday in defiance of the government and parents’ stupid rules.

The ringleader, Kevin, has stated the demands for the group. “We don’t want to take naps anymore. And we want cookies. And then toys. And also, also, we want to wear camo pajamas all the time.”

NAFB has promised that the only way they are going to leave is if they are guaranteed a full day at Chuck E Cheeses. And if parents or other authority figures attempt to retake the store, NAFB is prepared to throw epic tantrums, crying and screaming, throwing any objects they can find, while calling anyone within hear shot ‘poopy head.’

This sort of behavior is not new to the group who have made similar demands in the past year even taking over a movie theater because they were told they weren’t old enough to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Kevin again explained it very articulately by noting that Julie’s dad let her see it, and she’s only 8 years old.

Although the group was strong in taking the store, their efforts are somewhat waning. When questioned about the authoritarian rules inflicted by parents the youngest member and Kevin’s girlfriend stated, “I like ponies.”

The parents have yet to take action abstaining from breaching the Toys R Us.

“Honestly, I could use a break from those little monsters,” Kevin’s Mom (who chooses to not have her name published) said.

“Yeah, let them blow off some steam before they come back home,” said another NAFB father who chose not to be identified.

Police authorities said they will wait to take action until after 2 pm when nap time usually is.

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