The unintended victims of California’s legislation legalizing recreational marijuana are drug dealers but not in the way many might think. Many marijuana drug dealers are concerned that they will no longer have any friends now that they cannot provide them with access to illegal drugs.
“I mean I don’t have anybody that will hangout with me anymore,” said Alex Harris, a 32 year-old former bongo music instructor. “People used to call me up when they needed some weed, and I could go and hang out with them. No more. Hell, I can’t even get someone to share a joint with me.”
Still, other drug dealers are not concerned with just losing friends but with the types of friends they’ll now be forced to make.
“I’m not worried about business,” said Trevor Stein. “I’ll just start selling blow and my profit margins will probably be even bigger. But trying to have a talk about life with someone coked out is like trying to talk with someone while skydiving.”
“When people voted for the legislation they didn’t realize that there are people in this world who only have friends because they can provide drugs,” said Noel Smith, owner and operator of a Rick Astley fansite.
The approved measure already has growers working overtime. Many fear that just as gun enthusiasts boost gun sales after a Democrat candidate wins, Trump’s election (and staunchly anti-marijuana stand) will have many people buying up as much weed as they can. This means people are buying in bulk.
“People are buying ounces and ounces of weed,” said Smith. “Which means now I won’t see them for months. I’m so lonely.”