Kim Davis Claims Pope Francis ‘hit on’ her, rebuffs his advances

kim-davis-popeDuring Pope Francis’ visit to the United States he met with Kim Davis, who reported that he made a sexual advance on her and that she turned him down.

Davis (now infamous for her refusal to grant marriage licenses to gay couples in Kentucky because of her religious views) says she was astounded by his ‘move’ but not surprised.

“See even the Pope was hitting on me. Now you see why I’ve been married three times. I have to bat them off I’m so attractive.”

Davis also says the Pope was very aggressive. “He gave me a necklace, which he called a rosary. That I thought was way too forward for a first meeting.”

“He also offered me a wafer and wine, but I didn’t drink it because I’ve been roofied too many times before to accept unsolicited drinks from older men,” said Davis.

The only physical move he made was what Davis is describing as ‘heavy petting’. “He petted my head all weird like and then I think he tried to cast a spell on me.”

Davis says that she plans to include this anecdote on her country wide speaking tour starting next year to coincide with her book release.

The Vatican was quick to deny such allegations. Releasing this statement:

“We believe that Kim Davis is confused. On just about everything. Always. We in no way endorse her nor wish to comment on her allegations towards Pope Francis.”

When questioned by a reporter about the allegations Pope Francis said, “Illa bat stercore rabidus,” which Google translates as, “She’s batshit crazy.”

“A pope hasn’t visited the United States since 2008,” said Vatican Spokesperson William Lombardi. “And we think we’ll wait even longer before wading into that quagmire of religiosity again.”

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