New Study Shows White and Black Girl’s alter egos are reversed

Ghetto White GirlsA study released today by the National Association of Women’s Health UCLA shows that 98 percent of Caucasian girls born in Southern California identify their alter egos as ghetto black women.

“Alter egos in general come out only in times of great emotion or in examples of extreme peacocking,” explained co-executive chairwoman Bryce Millan. “Girls’s alter-egos tend to come out when they go out on the town, confront other girls in displays of dominance, or are exceedingly drunk.”

The study takes many factors into account including the use of words and phrases that are statistically used more by one race than the other.

Examples include “Dat bitch was stepping to me,” “Look at her wit dem chanky boots,” and “Omma do dis.”

Other factors include associations with popular music although interestingly Taylor Swift is universally loved by all alter egos.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the same study shows that many black girls’s alter egos are that of rich, white, older women. Examples of this include ordering ridiculously expensive drinks that aren’t on the menu and then sending them back because they’re not done to their satisfaction, draping themselves with unnecessary amounts of jewelry, and taking on a diva complex of self-worth and crushing insecurity.

“The important thing to take away from all this is that we’re all one,” said Chairwoman Millan. “Ghetto black girls are really just snobby, older, white ladies and sheltered, young, white girls are really just tough, take-no-shit black women.”

The study found there to be no similar connection between affluent black girls (whose alter-egos tend to be ghetto black girls) and poor white girls (whose alter-egos tend to be drunk males).

Several similar studies are slated for the next year, one in particular examining a similar switching of alter egos between Asian and Latino girls.

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