In preparation for the upcoming NHL playoffs where players put down the razors until they lose, Sports Illustrated has highlighted the worst beards among the NHL, with the L.A. Kings’ very own Dustin Brown taking the top spot.
“Hockey players have always been infamous for being the least attractive of all the professional sports teams,” said Sports Illustrated writer Stewart Mandel. “And in that realm of ugliest, Dustin Brown’s beard stands out among the rest.”
Other top honors went to Sidney Crosby, Jonathan Toews, and Jordan Staal.
“The thing I found most interesting was that the three worst beards were on three of the captains of three of the best teams in the NHL,” said Mandel. “It seems just as there is a correlation to quarterbacks being attractive, in hockey there is a correlation to team leaders barely being able to muster up some poor peach fuzz.”
The article available here also gives a special nod to Brent Burns of the San Jose Sharks who was voted by players as the most likely NHL player to be confused as a homeless man.
Mandel has received so much traffic from the otherwise empty NHL section of the Sports Illustrated website that he is working on a new piece ranking the general attractiveness of each of the NHL teams. The result will be calculated from many factors such as number of teeth missing, transparency of skin, and the propensity to end sentences with ‘eh’.